Building a Support Circle During the Perinatal Period
- Sarah Folch
- Apr 16
- 8 min read
Having a baby is, without a doubt, one of the hardest times of our lives. The changes we go through are in a continual flux. Our organs literally change locations to fit in a growing baby or babies! As our bodies go through these changes, it can be taxing both physically and mentally.
This is where social support plays a crucial role, offering you extra resources to help you grow. As mothers, we are constantly on a journey of nurturing. However, it's important that this nurturing extends to ourselves as well! We can truly give our best care when we, too, have received nurturing.
Understanding and building a social support circle is the first step in creating a protective factor for nurturing our mental health. Social support provides us with a community to connect with and to be connected to. It is a part of our history as humans, and to this day, it still means just as much.
The Basics
Part of bringing your social support group together also includes teaching them what perinatal mental health is all about. Plus, with being our own advocates for our mental health, maybe you will pick up something new, too!
Defining It
What is perinatal mental health anyways?
This is a time period that encompasses the same time frame as the perinatal period- from trying to conceive to one year postpartum. The mental health portion is broken down into a group of 6 different types of diagnoses. These can occur either alone or with another disorder (perinatal or otherwise).
Perinatal Depression
Perinatal Anxiety
Perinatal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Perinatal Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Bipolar Mood Disorders: Including Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2
Perinatal/ Postpartum Psychosis
You can learn in more detail about each one of these perinatal mental health disorders here.
Why Do They Happen?
Perinatal mental health disorders are not caused by any single factor. They are complex and are influenced by many varying factors. Mental health challenges during the perinatal period occur more often than many people realize.
As women, we have a 1 out of 5 chance of experiencing at least one of these disorders. However, it is likely they are even higher than this. It is estimated that 7 out of 10 women downplay or hide their symptoms (World Maternal Mental Health Day, 2024a).
Non-birthing people can also experience a perinatal mental health disorder. There is more at play than the intense pregnancy and birthing hormones! For men, 1 out of every 10 may experience one or more perinatal mental health disorders. Grandparents, adoptive parents, foster parents, or any major caregiver role can also experience perinatal mental health disorders.
In addition to the hormonal changes, below is a list of other contributing factors to the onset of perinatal mental health disorders.
History of mental health disorders and/or family history of mental health disorders
Lack of personal support and support in caring for the baby
Fertility challenges
Complications in pregnancy, birth, or lactation.
Pregnancy and/or infant loss
Unplanned or unwanted pregnancy
Childhood sexual abuse or any previous sexual trauma
Feelings of powerlessness and/or lack of support and reassurance during the delivery
Having an infant(s) in the Neonatal Intensive Care (NICU)
Traumatic or disappointing birth experience
Parents of Color
Military Families
Queer and Trans Families (Postpartum Support International, 2024b).
Building Your Support Circle
From trying to conceive to postpartum, being aware of and building your support circle cannot be underestimated. Our support circles provide us with a level of comfort, understanding, and assistance that can help to reduce the chances and/or the severity of postpartum disorders (Antoniou, et al., 2021). This is huge and gives us the opportunity to get a step ahead on perinatal mental health disruptions.
Everyone’s support circle looks different- partner, family, kin, friends, acquaintances, and professionals. These relationships may form during childhood, at work, or even online through social media. We can look at all the various relationships and determine who would be the best choice to include in our circle.
During our perinatal journey, it is important to honor and hold space for how our relationships change. Our relationships might change for several reasons, such as childhood dynamics, schedule conflicts, or just a lack of connection with someone because of this new experience. In the same way, we can also honor and hold space for the other relationships that form during and after.
Partners
Once a baby has been born, we take on a whole new world of roles. As things shift within our identities and responsibilities, so can how both our partner and ourselves are supportive of one another. The change within a partners' relationships is particularly fluid at this time, and sometimes, we may need support in identifying and integrating this major life change.
It can also mean that, within the relationship, stronger bonds can be created at the same time. These bonds can nurture a sense of safety and of being heard. We can engage with each other differently than any other relationship; accessing our understanding of each other can provide comfort and insight in a manner that is unique to your relationship.
It is no surprise that the role of a partner can have such a significant impact on perinatal mental health. This is the person who we are in it with- taking a commitment with one another in taking care of a new human or humans. Having their support is having the other half to us.
Their supportive role as a partner is the single most determining social factor of perinatal mental health disorders. The supportive role of a partner can have an impact on perinatal mental health outcomes starting from the time of trying for conception. The impact of this support is for both the initial prevention and/ or the reduction of perinatal mental health disorders (Antoniou, et al., 2021).
At Mountain Crest Counseling, we recognize the critical role our couple relationships have during the perinatal period. If you and your partner are seeking extra support at this time, we offer couples counseling, You can connect with us here.
Family and Kin
Family and kin are our longtime connections and bonds. They begin to entwine in our identity from the moment we are born. The support of family and kin can represent familiarity and tradition. Parts of us that we may want and not want passed down to our child(ren).
The encouragement from family and relatives provides us with a foundation for raising our child. In addition to our own memories and experiences of nurturing, we also draw from the knowledge of those who raised us. This connection offers valuable insights and perspectives on what it truly means to bring up a child.
Support that comes from family and kin can have a significant impact on the decreased risks around perinatal mental health disorders. The role of grandparents, your parents and your parental in-laws, is significant. There is a noticeable difference with the more support, the less perinatal depressive symptoms and general stress that exists. With their support, only 4 in 10 birthing people experienced a perinatal mental health disorder. This is in contrast to 6 in 10 birthing people who did not feel they had support (O’Conner, E., 2024).
Friendships
Friendships are a pivotal part of the perinatal journey. Being outside of our immediate family and kin can provide us with valuable insight and support on what is happening. With a different worldview, and one that likely aligns with our adult identity, we can find comfort in knowing that our friends can support our journey through their experiences. During this time in your life, it is beneficial to maintain the friendships you have had. But it is equally important to reach out to other parents who are aligning with the same experiences as you are.
Because of the unique experiences that come with the perinatal period, we can find ourselves connecting with others that we otherwise would not have. These new friendships allow us to vent, share supportive experiences and advice, and be present in our understanding without having to say anything. We can begin to better form our new role this way, too, in a healthy reflective experience (Menken, A.E., 2019).
Professionals
The professional serves a role within the support circle as well. It is certainly a much different relationship than the previously mentioned roles however, it serves as a specialized support. Having a provider you feel comfortable with will allow for better care of ourselves. Some professionals within our circles can include Obstetricians, Midwives, Nurse Practitioners, Doulas, Counselors, Psychiatrists, and more.
Having adequate professional support can contribute to the decrease in perinatal mental health disorders and symptoms. Mothers who had an obstetrician (OB) they were comfortable with, only 3 out of 10 experienced a perinatal mental health disorder. For those who did not have an OB, 7 out of 10 experienced them (O’Conner, E., 2024). This is where learning to advocate for ourselves, or having our support systems assist us in advocacy, becomes a crucial element of your perinatal journey and beyond.
Mountain Crest Counseling provides a Resource Page featuring a variety of providers catering to the Perinatal Community. Don't forget to explore it for local resources available in New Mexico!
Social Media
In the middle of the night when you are awake, again, going into social media is quick, easy, and can feel comforting in the moment. Social media does not always have a good reputation though, so should it be a part of your support circle?
Yes! This is especially true when a mother is experiencing high stress and low mood at the same time. Social media provides an opportunity to support healthy coping that does not exist elsewhere. It is, however, still suggested to make sure our social media connections and interactions are making us feel better. Mom-shame and mindless scrolling can change this into an unhealthy coping skill (Henton, S. & Swanson, V., 2023).
Finding pages and individuals with whom you resonate and feel validated is a great guideline. After scrolling, take a moment to reflect and ask yourself:
Do I feel acknowledged, validated, and more connected to my humanity?
Or do I feel ashamed and trapped in comparison?
For accounts that affirm your experiences, foster your learning, and promote your growth,
Dr. Amelia Trujillo invites you to follow her and explore the numerous other accounts she follows for validation, education, and support.
Mapping It All Out
You now have in view all of these possible connections of whom you would like in your support circle. Mapping out what you feel and know you would need and want is the next step. This should be fluid. Things tend to be continually moving during the perinatal period, and those wants and needs can quickly change.
Our social support circle is critical. It is a resource and necessity when it comes to this time in our lives. We may not be able to have a diverse support circle. But it can take just a few people to come through and really make that difference for you.
References
Antoniou, E., Stamoulou, P., Tzanoulinou, M. D., & Orovou, E. (2021). Perinatal Mental Health; The Role and the Effect of the Partner: A Systematic Review. Healthcare (Basel, Switzerland), 9(11), 1572. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare9111572\
Henton, S. & Swanson, V. (2023). A mixed-methods analysis of the role of online social support to promote psychological wellbeing in new mothers. Retrieved from
Menken, A.E. (2019). Friendships for New Mothers. Retrieved from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9827533/
O’Conner, E. (2024). Adequate Support: Key to Addressing Perinatal Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/scientific-mommy/202412/adequate-support-key-to-addressing-perinatal-mental-health
Postpartum Support International (2024b). Perinatal Mental Health: Signs, Symptoms and Treatment. Retrieved from https://www.postpartum.net/perinatal-mental-health/
World Maternal Mental Health Day (2024a). Why Maternal Mental Health Should be a Priority. Retrieved from https://wmmhday.postpartum.net/
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