Self-Care for New Parents: Prioritizing Your Mental Health

Self-care is taking time for ourselves to improve our well-being, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. As parents, time is something that is cherished- even sacred. Often though we can feel that we always have to be ‘on’- sick, sleepy, or overwhelmed. 

So as parents, how do we fit in self-care without feeling more stressed? We change the tone around self-care from something we are squeezing into an already packed schedule to a microbreak. Those small acts of self-care add up quickly- a minute here and there. Think of it as several breaks sprinkled throughout your day. Sounds good, right?

The Five Pillars of Self-Care

When we consider what self-care is, we ought to keep in mind just how diverse it truly can be. There is no wrong or right way to do it. What may seem like self-care for one person can be very different for another. To get an idea of the expansive possibilities, we can look at the 5 pillars of self-care and how they can be incorporated into microbreaks. 

Mental Care

Caring for your mental health encompasses both positively engaging your mind and practicing being in the present. Microbreaks for mental self-care are about checking in with your mind and body. 

While caring for a baby or young child (or both!) it is so easy to disconnect from our bodies. And if we struggle with perinatal mental health, the chances of disconnection can increase. Long term, this disconnect can create unhealthy coping strategies that we may not be consciously aware of. 

To bring you back into the moment, we of several suggestions (of course 🙂). 

• Drink a glass of water and notice your sensations while doing so

• State what your five senses are telling you in the moment

  • Notice your surroundings by using at least one of your senses- sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell.

• Take a few deep breaths of outside air

• Close your eyes for one minute

• Brain dump everything that comes to mind in a notebook

• Focusing deeply, take one deep and engaging restorative breath 

• Connect to your space through grounding- being barefoot and outside!

  • Imagery can also be as supportive (sand between my toes, please!) 

• Change something in your home environment

• Stare at a single, comforting object for one minute. 

Physical Care

Although we are including physical care as part of self-care, we know adequate sleep, eating nutritious foods, and personal hygiene are foundational to our survival. However, goals to fulfill eight hours of sleep, have regular showers, and eat nutritious meals can feel impossible with a baby.

On the days when these needs are not getting met, this type of microbreak can be especially important.

See if you can connect with your physical presence for some mini-restoration.  

• Have a quick stretch

• Try a body scan meditation

• Choose one nutrient-rich food to eat today

• Keep track of how much water you are drinking today

• Try out or return to one new sleep hygiene practice

• Make a doctor's appointment for your health

• Keep your doctor's appointment

• Run in place (only if your doctor has okayed physical activity)

Social Care

A support system during the perinatal period is vital for our healing and ongoing health. It reassures us that someone else cares and wants to listen, offering an irreplaceable respite. Our parental voice can be louder than our individual voice and needs during role changes.

Having time to feel heard can provide us with the strength to make it through a hard day. Even when everything else feels out of control and uncomfortable, being heard can offer a moment of comfort. 

Here are some ideas to fit micro-moments for social care into your day. 

• Text someone you care about

• Hug yourself or ask for one

• Brainstorm ideas that you can do to connect with your baby- at home or out

• Make a point to set up one-on-one time with a close friend

• Spend a minute bonding with your dog or cat

• Brainstorm ways to connect with your community

• Draw out your support system on paper

• Check in with yourself on what in your relationships are and are not supportive

Spiritual Care

Spirituality is a way for us to stop and tune into our inner self’s voice through the intention of some sort of higher power- no matter what we believe the higher power may be. Spiritual self-care gives us the chance to focus on certain aspects of our meaning and perspective of life. 

The postpartum period brings so many changes to how we view our existence and our roles, spiritual self-care can help us balance that drastic shift. As we reflect on our place in the world both before and after the baby, we are given the chance to ground ourselves.

Below are some ideas you can take to tap into your spiritual side with a micro-moment.  

• Light a candle with an intention

• Say a mealtime prayer

• Star gaze

• Care for a plant

• Write down a meaningful saying or verse and place it somewhere to easily see

• Check-in with the seasonal change

• Check in with nature the next time you go outside 

• Disconnect from social media

Emotional Care

It is easy to imagine a toddler having a meltdown. Although we tend to associate this high level of uncontrollable emotions with children only, we may actually think - me too kid, me too. 

Emotions are hard and postpartum brings what appears to be a whole new set of them- with the intensity turned up to 10. It is not only hormones that bring this about, but rather a whole shift in our world when a baby is born. 

No matter your age, supporting your emotional well-being is an important part of self-care. 

Here are several ways to care for yourself emotionally.   

• Smile- even if you have to try hard!

• Scream into a pillow

• Listen to your favorite song

• Say parent-related affirmations

  • This is hard and that is okay. 

  • Things are a mess, but they won’t always be.

  • My basic needs are important.

  • I am a parent, but I also am…

  • I am trying my best and that is what matters most. 

  • I deserve to be nurtured too. 

• Read something you enjoy for five minutes

• Doodle

• Take a moment to add water and essential oil to your diffuser

Deeper Self-Care Practices

Microbreaks are great for getting us through tough, busy times. It is still important to make time for those deeper self-care practices though. Microbreaks give us the chance to pace ourselves better until we can have that moment to really take a step back. Without them, taking that longer break can prove to be harder to unwind. 

With this in mind, we can revisit the 5 pillars of self-care and expand on those micro-moments. When you do (finally…) have a longer moment, the micro-moments you have been gravitating to can be extended. Rather than planning for one nutritious thing today, try 2 or 3, listen to your full playlist intently rather than one song, or go and do take that one-on-one time with a friend. You can also combine multiple micro-moments into one- notice your five senses while having a nutritious meal, listening to your favorite songs, and having lit a candle with an intention. 

Self-care is a personal choice, we all do things a little differently. The important part is that you feel better after your micro-moment or longer break. If you are interested in even more ways to brainstorm what your type of self-care looks like, you can visit the Self-Care Wheel (https://www.buckner.org/files/uploads/SelfCare-wheel.pdf). Here you can see the 5 pillars of self-care and what else can be encompassed by it.

For You!

Giving yourself the chance, small or big, to nurture yourself is such an important part of being a caretaker. We can so easily keep going and going- feeling like there is no way to stop. Fitting in these small moments can slowly and steadily bring us back into place. Then, when you can take care of yourself, you can take care of those around you better too.